Remedy for Memory
by Bleachedechelon
Summary: Quartet Night needs to gain leverage on Starish. Reiji decides that he will mentor Tokiya with the intention of deceit. What started off as a white lie quickly ends up snowballing out of control as the two spend more and more time together. (ReiToki or Reiji x Tokiya)


_Hey guys! It's been awhile. And by awhile I mean like two years. Have an Uta no Prince Sama fanfic to make up for it. I will say, like all my other stories, don't expect a happy ending. Although, compared to some of my older fics, this is much lighter on the angst. There is smut and there may be hints and mentions of abuse (emotional and physical) here and there so if that bothers you, just know that it is an undertone in this one-shot. I think Reiji and Tokiya together are very cute and I wanted to explore the dynamics of their characters, their flaws, and how they would be with one another. I hope I did them justice. Enjoy!_

He never found it hard to use other people. Some people had better, more reputable talents. Sure he could sing and dance decently, but he was best at acting. Usually it was with a smile or a laugh with which he played off his true emotions. Could he really be blamed for doing something everybody else already does? There are all roles in life that one must play, and to Reiji Kotobuki, this is just another one of those roles. His newest role: obtain the trust of one of the members of an up-and-coming rival band, Starish.

Starish had the upper hand in almost every sense of the word, they were younger than Quartet Night, nicer than Quartet Night, and overall just more appealing to young girls. If a member of Quartet Night were able to obtain enough information, they may stand a chance of regaining their popularity and therefore sabotaging Starish before they completely snuffed them out. Reiji had studied each of the boys carefully, assessing which one may be the easiest to get to. Despite argument from his bandmates, he had chosen Tokiya Ichinose to be the test subject for his experiment. The other members of his band would argue that Tokiya was far too guarded and would in fact be the hardest to break. Reiji, however, saw right through this mask. He was the master of playing the role of the clown, and he definitely knew a clown when he saw one. Tokiya Ichinose was a complete fake in his eyes. The transition from his role as Hayato to Tokiya, although somewhat impressive, was still a farce. Tokiya merely went from playing one role to another in his opinion. One clown to another, Reiji would get inside his head easier than any other member.

After his target was chosen, the next dilemma was the issue of getting him alone and developing a bond. Luckily, an opportunity presented itself not long after the plan was formulated. Both Quartet Night and Starish were set to perform at a concert this weekend. If Reiji could meet him afterword, he would have his in. Reiji practiced over what to say in his head days in advance, even rehearsed it aloud. Not because he was nervous, rather because he wanted to make sure that his script was polished. Once he was sure he would secure Tokiya's attention with his choice of words, he needn't worry any further.

Before he knew it, the day of the concert had arrived. Quartet Night went on stage and performed first, as usual it went flawlessly and he found himself thriving off of the energy of the crowd as they performed on stage. As much as he hated to admit it, much like the other three members of his band, he was quite the attention-whore. It was something akin to being high, the feeling it gave him to have all of those eyes watching _him_. When they exited the stage, it was almost difficult to focus on the task at hand because he had such a feeling of exhilaration. All the more for him to want to defeat Starish and stay on top in order to absorb more of this feeling.

Starish was on next, and much to the dismay of Quartet Night, it seemed that the cheers of the fans had doubled in decibel as their screams practically bounced through the amphitheater. Reiji scoffed inwardly at the display. Sure they were pretty, and they could harmonize alright, but they all seemed to shine too brightly on stage, as if they were all in competition with one another. He spent the remainder of the performance focused solely on Tokiya, noticing his strained smile. Even after all this time, his smile still was not genuine. Soon enough, all seven members of Starish filtered off stage and the screams died down. Soon Reiji's chance would come. He parted from the rest of his band and was on his way.

Tokiya's dressing room was a bit of a walk away from his own, but he took the time to master his walk. Even the way he carried himself was one with an air of arrogance, however, the brunette's sly smile made it hard to even judge him for it. Once he arrived at Tokiya's door he paused for only a second before he knocked twice on the door.

There was a lengthy pause before he heard a soft voice penetrate through the door, "Yes, who is it?"

Reiji grinned to himself, "Reiji Kotobuki here from Quartet Night. I wanted to say how amazing you all were tonight. It truly blew me away."

Another lengthy pause, and he could hear the hesitation in the other's voice, "Thank you. Was there anything else that you needed?"

"Actually, yes. I feel like this conversation might actually go over much better if I were granted permission to open the door." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but not so much that Tokiya couldn't take it.

"Go ahead. It would be rude to refuse the time of a successful artist who is my senior." Tokiya's voice, while never changing in inflection, seemed to be laced with bitter sarcasm as well.

Reiji almost chuckled at that response. He twisted the handle and opened the door to reveal a male with midnight blue hair blinking over at him from where he sat before his vanity. "Good evening Kotobuki. Please, make yourself comfortable."

Reiji nodded at that, removing his fedora hat as he sat it on the back of the chair he then set himself down on. "Good evening to you as well Tokiya." Reiji noticeably was informal when addressing the younger male, but he was that way with just about everyone.

"So, what exactly was it you wanted to address?" Tokiya didn't seem outwardly perturbed, but Reiji knew better.

Reiji's silver eyes raised up in an attempt to meet Tokiya's, but he noticed that the young idol couldn't hold the eye contact for more than a few seconds before breaking away. That little behavior didn't go unnoted. Nonetheless, Reiji felt like it was best to just drop the script and go straight for the kill. This kid was going to be easier to break than he had originally thought. It was almost sad, really.

"Tokiya, I couldn't help but notice you on stage tonight. You really do outshine your band-mates. I bet you I could help you flourish even more. I know you have struggled with making the transition from Hayato to Tokiya, I can help you with that." He paused, smiling a thin coy smile as he noticed that he had captured the blue haired male's attention once more. "Think of me as your senpai. I am extending this offer to only you because I see that you have true potential."

Tokiya's brow drew down ever so slightly as those words fell over his ears. He looked as though he really didn't want to answer his proposal at all. But eventually his reply was made, "I shouldn't. Thank you, but I already have vocal training regimens in place."

Reiji laughed out loud, brash and hearty laughter in its purest form, "Tokiya, Tokiya… You don't need vocal coaching to fix the problem you have. You need passion. Heart. Spirit."

At that Tokiya's chin lifted and his icy blue eyes narrowed in blatant defiance. "How dare you—"

"Don't tell me I'm wrong kiddo, cause you know I'm right." Reiji stared back at him blankly, picking his fedora up off of the back of the chair and spinning it around once on his fingers before standing up. "It's your choice, I'm not going to sit here and pester you about it. Here." Reiji reached into his coat pocket and provided the still-glaring Tokiya with a note containing his personal number.

"Kotobuki, I told you I don't need this." He attempted to shove the piece of paper back at the fedora-clad singer.

"Don't call me 'Kotobuki', it makes you sound like a prude. If I wanted to be around a prude I'd be back in my dressing room with Camus. Reiji is fine, in fact Rei-chan is an exception I'll make just for you." As if he could've flustered Tokiya any further he did with a wink before turning his back on him and strolling out the door with ease.

Tokiya sat on the offer for weeks, literally and figuratively. He had left the other's number packed away in his back pocket, more so forcing himself to forget about the interaction rather than actually forgetting it. It wasn't until one day after a recording session that he actually thought about taking his senior up on the offer.

The recording manager had stopped Tokiya half-way through the recording session, "Ichinose, that's enough for today."

Tokiya's blue eyes widened a bit as he pulled off his headphones, looking up at the manager with a slack jaw. "But we just started…"

"I know." The gruff voice echoed throughout the room before his manager released a small sigh. "Come out here, I need to talk to you."

He hesitates before he sets down his headphones and leaves the recording booth. He faces his manager, waiting to hear the worst. "Listen, Ichinose, maybe you should take some time off. I don't know if it's the stress that's getting to you or what but…"

"But what?" Tokiya feels frustration building up in his chest but he reigns it in and pushes it back deep down inside himself.

"Your pitch is perfect, it's not hard for you to hit the notes. However, you're lacking…heart." The manager seemed to struggle on the last word.

Tokiya felt that frustration he had pushed deep down inside bubble up once more and threaten to break free. He had to get out of here before he let his emotions get the best of him. "Oh."

"Yeah, so, I was thinking you ought to take some time off, no?" The manager's tone was sympathetic as it was guilt-ridden.

"I-I will, thank you for your concern." With a rushed bow, Tokiya fled the room, even as he heard his manager calling after him.

Once he had left the recording room he ran down the hall and locked himself up in the bathroom. He focused on calming himself, breathing in and out as evenly as he could. He had failed. He always failed at everything he tried. And to think that he had had hope about this new career with Starish. Yet here he was, quickly becoming the weak link. He slammed his fist against the door to break his self-deprecating train of thought. Only then did he think of Reiji Kotobuki's offer.

He was feeling desperate at the moment, to say the least. In the midst of his desperation he searched for the number that was luckily still packed away in his pocket. He stared at the numbers for a few moments, noticing the curly, bubbly nature of the other's handwriting. It couldn't do that much harm, could it? Before he could talk himself out of it he unlocked his phone and dialed his number.

He waited anxiously for his answer and finally it came, "Hello?" He heard the male's voice ring through the speaker on his phone.

He pulled back, hovering his finger over the shining red end call button. This was the last chance to escape. He had to hang up now. "Tokiya, is that you?" A soft chuckle followed after the playful jest.

"How did you know?" Tokiya's tone is rather unamused and he lets out a small huff to show his true displeasure.

"I had a feeling, is all. So I'm guessing this means you've decided to take me up on my offer?" Reiji's question didn't even really sound much like a question since he already knew the answer.

"I don't think I have any other choice, or else, trust me, I wouldn't." Another huff, this one more pronounced than the first. "Just tell me when we can start."

Reiji grinned ear to ear, and his voice portrayed his victory. "Well, we can start now if you want. It would be best if you came over to my place, I'll text you the address." Tokiya opened his mouth to object that idea outright but was interrupted before he could. "See you tonight then, my dear kouhai. Get ready to work hard."

Reiji left a flustered Tokiya waiting on the other end as he hung up. However, it wouldn't be as easy as making just a few flirtatious jabs to win the other over, he would have to work much harder than that to receive the information he truly desired. For this, he was willing to wait, and he was willing to play the young boy very much like an instrument until he got what he wanted from him.

Later that night Tokiya had a car drop him off at the address that Reiji had earlier texted to him. The condo was in the heart of Tokyo, in an area that only millionaires could afford to live. Since Tokiya had come from a small town and very humble beginnings, these things still managed to shock him. Sure he too had wealth, but he was very careful with what he spent it on. His own apartment, while still on the higher-end of town, was still much more understated then what he was looking at right now. The plaque on the gate outside had the two kanji that made out the Kotobuki name engraved upon it, and beside it was an intercom button. Tokiya pressed the buzzer and the gate was opened, allowing for a rather small path to carry him up a few stair to the front door. He lifted his hand to knock, but found that the effort was in vain for Reiji opened the door before he could even make contact with his fist.

"Tokiya! How good to see you." Reiji's smile was bright, showing off a perfectly straight and white set of upper teeth. His smile seemed to reach his eyes, causing the edges just to crinkle in the slightest. For some reason, Tokiya thought this to be endearing. Not that it meant that he would return the smile.

"Good evening Kotobuki…Kotobuki-senpai." He tried the surname on for size, and it seemed to fit so he left it at that.

"What did I tell you about those stiff names, huh?" Reiji's smile seemed to dull, but it remained nonetheless, "Anyways, come in, please." He pulled back from the doorway and gestured for the other to come inside.

Tokiya gave a bow before removing his shoes at the door and sliding his feet into some house slippers that his senior had provided in the entry-way. Just like a true host, Reiji offered to get Tokiya a cup of tea while he waited in the living room. The first thing Tokiya noticed was just how bare it all was. There was hardly any photographs of Reiji with anyone, and all the art on the walls seemed so cookie-cutter. It looked like a house that really wasn't lived in, a place to live and not a home. Tokiya's passive analysis of the other's home was interrupted as soon as he came back with the tea.

"So, I'm interested in knowing what brought you here in the first place." Reiji crossed his legs casually as he sat back on the couch opposite the chair Tokiya was already seated in.

"I didn't come here to play twenty questions. I came here to learn." The blue-haired male seemed quick to jump onto the defensive, although he wasn't even really sure why.

"Now, now, Tokki, no need for that attitude with me." Reiji clicked his tongue in disapproval.

"…Tokki? What is that?" His usually calm features scrunched together in confusion.

"Your nickname, of course. I give them to all of my friends."

"I don't consider us friends, so feel free to abandon that name now."

"What did I say about the attitude, honestly?" Reiji set his cup of tea down on the table in front of him before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, no small talk, I get it." He kept the bridge of his nose clamped down in between his fingers for a few moments before raising his gaze up to the other male's face, his silver eyes now shining with a much more serious spark in them. "If you don't want to talk then sing. Now."

Tokiya opened his lips to object but found himself at a loss for words. At least they seemed to be getting down to business now. He exhaled softly in place of words before he rummaged through his brain for a song to sing. The most recent one in his mind and at the back of his throat was the new single he had been rehearsing for just hours earlier, the one he had failed at delivering properly. He began to sing and the tone of his voice resonated throughout the small room in perfect harmony. He hit all of the notes that he attempted and every rhythm was even. Unlike earlier, Reiji didn't interrupt his song, he listened to it all the way through to the end with a look that could only be described as concentrated. When Tokiya finished delivering the final note his eyes fluttered back down to Reiji's face with a sliver of expectancy in his eyes.

Reiji cleared his throat before he finally gave a comment, "There's no denying that technically, that was a perfect performance. I must admit I am a little jealous, I lose my tone more often than not." The older male chuckled dryly before adding onto his evaluation. "However, the lyrics. The lyrics, they seem to portray something that you do not. This song is clearly about sacrificing yourself for the one that you love. Tell me Tokiya, have you ever sacrificed yourself for someone you love?"

Tokiya seemed aghast to even be asked such a personal question, "Why are you—"

"Just answer the question." Once more, a somewhat darker intent was laced into the senior's tone.

"Well, no." Tokiya shifted around in his chair, tucking a free weft of blue hair behind his ear as he tilted his gaze towards the ground. "But I know someone who has done that for me."

Reiji waited expectantly, and Tokiya felt that there was not getting out of this one. Reiji was the kind of man who got what he wanted when he asked for it. Perhaps his cheerful smile really was a farce, much like Tokiya's was when he was Hayato…and even now.

"My mother. She sacrificed everything for me. She believed in me when no one else did, when my father didn't. When he…when he raised his hand to me she would try to take the brunt end of the beating for me. If it weren't for her constant sacrifice, I would not be where I am now." Tokiya could feel his own cheeks burning, with shame rather than embarrassment. He didn't want to speak about those times, especially to a coy man he barely even knew. But something about this whole situation made him feel unbearably pressured to do so.

"That's it." Instead of offering an apology, like many others may have tried to do, Reiji offered a solution. "When you sing that song, you have to think of her. Try to feel what she felt, try to understand her sacrifice and her love for you. Once you understand that, you will understand how to sing that song." Reiji seemed to relax once more and revert back to his lax self as he reclined in his chair once more.

Tokiya merely blinked up at him, still cupping his tea in his hands as he looked down into the surface of the golden tea where he saw himself. "I'm not sure that I can do that. I'm not sure I can comprehend the feelings that she felt."

"All you can do is try, kiddo. That's all we can really do as measly humans." The brunette leaned across the coffee table in between him to let his hand rest on the other's knee. "You can do it."

Blue eyes shifted from the hand on his knee back up to his senior. Once again he found Reiji's smile and soft grey eyes endearing. He was like a sunflower; he was not the prettiest flower, not the showiest flower, but he still managed to tower over the rest and make himself shine brightly. On the other hand, there seemed to be a rather dark underbelly to that flower that glowed so brightly for all to see. It was as if it had been infected with a disease, but one that was not so easily seen.

"Thank you. I will think it over for the time being. It's getting late, I ought to take my leave now." Tokiya set his cup down before standing, causing the other's hand to fall from his knee.

"Yeah, yeah, it's probably past your bedtime Tokki, rest up." Reiji didn't even bother standing up to escort him out, he nearly waved goodbye, an uncertain smile still plastered to his face.

"Mhm. Goodnight Kotobuki-senpai." As soon as Tokiya turned his back he felt great relief flood him. Every moment he spent being examined by those steel colored eyes was another moment spent with a feeling of great anxiety.

He slipped back into his shoes in the doorway and took his leave only to find that it had started to rain outside. He stayed under the awning by the front door as he waited for his driver to arrive. In that time he thought over what Reiji had said. He thought of his mother with great heaviness in his heart and for some reason that feeling did not encourage him to want to sing. He tossed those feelings up to something that ought to be repressed, not something that he should not openly display for the world to see in his music. While he didn't completely dismiss the idea, he didn't welcome it with open arms either. Not long after that his car arrived and he got inside and was in route back to his house. At the end of it all, all he really wanted to do was to sleep his day off and forget he had ever had this meeting.

It would be another week before he would decide to pay a visit to Reiji again. In all honesty, he needed to take that time to simply recover from the thoughts that the other had implanted into his brain on that day. He had been thinking about it. Perhaps his solution to heartless singing was to focus on much more than just the melody of a song. He tried singing the song while thinking of his mother many times in that single week, but he could not find that much had changed even when he thought of her. This time, Reiji contacted him first.

Tokiya had just finished a day of practice when he heard his phone buzz with an incoming text. The message read: "How's the song coming along?"

Tokiya mused over a response before deciding to give a half-hearted reply, "It's alright."

Only a few minutes later he felt his phone buzz once more and he quickly, and somewhat eagerly unlocked his phone so he could see the reply. "Care to come over to my place again? I promise I won't conduct anymore interrogations."

Reiji couldn't be trusted necessarily, but he hadn't proved himself to be completely untrustworthy as of yet. It's merely that the older male seemed to live with very little discretion, whereas Tokiya lived with a lot, maybe even too much. The thought of the other's smile suddenly crossed his mind and for some reason that was the greatest motivator he could think of to respond.

"Alright. When should I come over?"

"Any time after nine should be fine. I'll be home then! See you then!" It took mere moments for the other to respond, as if he was waiting by his phone for a reply.

Tokiya called for his driver, grabbed his bag, and left as soon as he could. Although their last meeting hadn't left off on exactly great terms, he still had higher hopes for their second meeting.

He had these barriers built up around him. They were the strongest thing that he had intact within him. With each disappointment, each heartbreak, each loss, he strengthened the foundation of his wall. He vowed he would never let anyone hurt him again. He would never take down those walls that protected his fragile heart. Whenever he let even the slightest part of his true self show he found that only pain followed. Each glimpse of happiness in his life was followed with great pain, so how this was experience any different? How could he know when to let down those borders and when to keep them up? He hated this feeling of uncertainty swelling up in his chest. Tokiya had experienced an anxiety filled day, and the prospects of tonight only succeeded in making him feel twice as anxious.

When he arrived at his senpai's house, he realized that the other had yet to arrive home. He was quick to turn back around and try and get back into his car, only to find that his driver had already sped away. He didn't mind the waiting, but surely enough it started to rain and there was no place nearby that he could take shelter under. The raindrops flattened his usually flipped hairstyle, and dampened his clothes to the point that they could do nothing but cling to his pale skin. He was less bothered by the rain than he should have been. As a child, when he got bored; which was often considering he was an only child, he would sneak out at night. He would explore down by the beach in the small town he lived in, letting the waves splash against his feet and the brisk cold air chill his bones. Somehow it had always comforted him when he felt truly and utterly alone. He didn't fear the darkness, the cold, or the rain.

He was too absorbed in his own thoughts to notice Reiji's car pull up. The sound of the car's engine shutting off, however, did catch his attention. It was an old green Beetle Bug, although he was certain that the other could afford a much more luxurious automobile and a driver, it seemed he didn't want any of it. Reiji looked perturbed as he stepped out of the car, his usually lighthearted smile was replaced with a stern expression. Tokiya felt somewhat, frightened, by this display.

"I'm sorry I'm late. Have you been waiting here long?" Reiji's voice betrayed the apology of his words by sounding rather unapologetic and flat.

"I'm fine." Tokiya meekly responded, although the cold had him shivering without him even realizing it.

Reiji noted the other's shivering with an unchanging expression before he gestured to the house, "Let's get inside. You should dry off."

Tokiya nodded and followed the brunette inside, immediately peeling his soaking coat off and hanging it in the entry way beside his shoes which he left behind as well.

"Do you need a change of clothes?" Reiji had already hurried off to the kitchen, leaving Tokiya to awkwardly trail behind him.

"I… Well..." Tokiya hated to be a burden and he hated to ask for things. "Maybe just a shirt, if you have one."

"I'll get you one in a moment." Reiji was far too distracted at the moment at pouring himself a glass of scotch onto a bed of ice. Once he had finished his endeavor he took a generous sip, finally allowing the tension to release in his shoulders. Only then did he turn his gaze over to the other man in the room, "Do you want some?"

Tokiya shook his head, "I try to stay away from alcohol if I can."

Reiji arched a brow a fraction of an inch but chose not to question him further, although from the tone of his voice he could infer that there was more to it than that. "Suit yourself." He had another drink before he left the room to go grab Tokiya a fresh shirt.

When he came back Tokiya took the shirt from the other's hands with a bow, excusing himself to the nearest restroom where he changed his clothes. When he came back out, he found Reiji drinking a full glass of scotch. He wasn't sure what to say or do, so he sat on the stool next to him at the counter, wrapping his arms around himself. Maybe he should leave. When he looked up to say something, to his horror, he realized that Reiji had already been looking at him. For how long now? For what reason? He immediately looked away.

"Say, Tokiya, care to hear a song I'm working on?" Reiji turned away, setting his now almost empty glass on the stone countertop.

He got a halfhearted reply of, "…Sure."

Reiji sat back all the way in his chair, stretching his back out before stretching out his arms, "Don't sound too excited now, kiddo."

A long moment of silence passed after that and Tokiya began to think that Reiji wasn't going to sing. But then he did. Unlike many of the happy-go-lucky idol's songs, this one did not carry an uplifting beat, nor lyrics of fluff and nonsense. The tempo was slow and the older male's voice was deeper, more somber. The lyrics themselves seemed to speak of heartbreak, fear of getting close to another person, and wishing for a way to express the love within that could not be expressed without scorn. Tokiya got so distracted in the tone and the meaning that he seemed to bypass the times that Reiji missed a note, the times that he fell off beat. He was singing imperfectly, and it was beautiful.

When he finished, Tokiya realized that his chest felt tight and that his throat burned. Had he been feeling as if he were going to cry? Shamefully he hid his face in his shoulder for a moment, praying that the other could not tell.

"Ah, it was that bad?" Reiji puffed a little before he finished off his glass.

Tokiya turned back around with an unexpected protest, "N-No! It—"He paused as soon as he realized that he didn't know what he was saying, or where it would go next.

"Oh." Reiji's eyes widened a bit as he looked over at him.

Another moment of silence and avoiding one another's glances would fall between them before Tokiya spoke again. "Tell me, what were you thinking of as you sang?"

Reiji chuckled, tapping his empty glass as if he wished it were full again. "Just like you kiddo, nothing in particular."

"That's a lie." Tokiya called him out immediately before releasing an annoyed huff. "Stop calling me that, I'm not a child."

"It's a lie now, is it? How would you know?" That cold tone had returned to Reiji's voice, and it made Tokiya stop dead in his tracks.

"I-I don't know that, forgive me. Honestly, I should take my leave." Tokiya began to stand up before he felt the other's hand on his arm.

Tokiya looked from the other's hand to his face with a bewildered look in his blue eyes. It was now Reiji who couldn't find it in himself to look up at the blue haired male. "Stay. Even for a little while longer."

Tokiya wanted to shake his hand off, but couldn't find it in himself to do so, "Well why should I?"

Reiji swallowed hard, continuing to avoid his gaze. He wish he were lying when he said the next words that came from his mouth, "I don't want to be alone right now."

Alone. A familiar concept to the young man who stood above the older one. If someone had offered to stay by Tokiya during his incredibly lonely childhood, would he have liked them to stay or would he rather have pushed them away? He didn't mind being alone. He didn't mind the silence, or so he told himself. He sat back down.

"Sorry." Reiji laughed a little, shaking his head. "God, I'm tired. I need to just call it a day."

"So you really do want me to leave?" Tokiya squirmed in his seat, feeling suddenly incredibly uncomfortable.

"Nah, I'm just putting my foot in my mouth. And probably making you hate me more than you already do."

"I don't hate you." Tokiya shook his head a little, "I wouldn't be here if I did, I can assure you that."

"True. You don't seem the type to screw around." Reiji cleared his throat before turning his seat to finally face in the other's direction. "Anyways, how is the song coming along? Any progress? Can I help you with anything else?"

Tokiya stared down at his feet for a moment before shaking his head back and forth, "No progress yet."

"Huh. Well you are a tough cookie Tokki." Reiji placed his hand on the other's knee in hopes to grab his attention once more. "Can I give you a little assignment to work on for the next few weeks?"

Tokiya seemed surprised by the unwarranted touch, but again did nothing to escape it. "I suppose…"

"Work on a song for me. Write the song about something you've experienced. It can be happy, sad, angry, it doesn't matter. Just write about what you know. First-hand experience is key. Can you do that for me?" He pats the other's knee in encouragement.

This time Tokiya moves his knee out of the way, straightening his back some as he gives a nod. "Of course I can."

"Good, good. I know I can count on you to get it done." Reiji smiled at him. It was a tired smile, but it still managed to make the other's heart melt just a little, rendering Tokiya speechless for the time being.

Reiji's smile eventually faded into pure exhaustion. "Thank you for staying with me but I must be getting to bed soon, and you as well I'm sure."

"Yes, you're right." Tokiya stands up, about to turn and leave before he realizes that he is still in one of his senpai's shirts. "Oh, your shirt."

Reiji waves his hand dismissively, "Return it to me next time. Goodnight Tokki, have a safe ride home."

Tokiya gives another small bow in response before he gathered his things and left, "Thank you. Goodnight."

When Tokiya left Reiji let out a large sigh, holding his head in his hands. How could he bring himself to con an innocent young man like this? Especially one so beautiful, so soft. He tried to convince himself that everything he had said tonight was all so he could get closer to Tokiya, all so he could convince him to make a song that he would later steal out from under his feet. But somewhere deep inside, he knew the things he had said and the things he had felt were genuine. He didn't want to hurt Tokiya, but he had to. He pushed the nagging voices in his head down with more drinks until the drunken haze pulled him down into a restless sleep for the remainder of the night.

The two would begin to meet once a week to work on this project together. Soon the days turned to weeks and they went from weekly meetings to twice a week to eventually every other day. Even when they weren't together, they would often message one another. They seemed to bond over their work, their passion, and their dedication. Everything else about them seemed to be opposite on the surface level, although both struggled with telling the truth and disclosure.

After almost two months of working on Tokiya's song together, it was almost complete. Tokiya was to debut the song live the next week, and the two were working on the finishing touches of the song over late night coffee.

"Still though, I think that we should move this rest over—"

"Leave this to the experts Tokki." Reiji chuckled, taking the sheet music back from the blue haired male and scribbling over the notes that he had written.

"Hey!" Tokiya reached out for the sheet music, only to have his senpai hold it away from him.

"Trust me! Don't you trust me?" Reiji arched a brow, it seemed like a loaded question to him.

"What do you mean…?" Tokiya quieted down, his blue eyes dropping down to the tabletop.

"You know what I said. Now do you or don't you?" His voice still seemed a little firm, as if he wouldn't drop it until he received an answer.

Tokiya's lip became trapped underneath his teeth as he chewed on it a bit, "Well, yes, I guess."

Reiji hopped up from his seat on the couch almost suddenly, "Come with me." He offered his hand out to the younger male.

"Why? Where are we going?" He stared at the outstretched hand dubiously.

"Don't be scared. Just take my hand." Reiji insisted once more, thrusting his hand out to the other once more.

"I'm not scared..." Tokiya mumbled under his breath, hesitating a moment longer before he grasped the other's hand in his own.

With that, Reiji pulled them out of the apartment and onto the street to an awaiting car. Tokiya realized that they had yet to break hands, although it wasn't necessary that they should hold hands any longer. He didn't mind it though, Reiji's hand was incredibly warm against his own. Reiji pulled him into the car and they began to drive away.

"I hate to repeat myself, but I want to know where you're taking me." Tokiya found himself silenced with one of Reiji's rare yet serious stares. Tokiya forced his gaze down to his feet, feeling defeated by the other's gaze for some reason.

"Tokiya, come now, raise your head up."

Tokiya did as he was told, almost as if he were in auto-pilot mode. If there was one thing he could do properly, it was follow directions. Reiji frowned as he watched Tokiya blankly follow his instructions. He could only wonder why he acted this way sometimes. He thought about asking before he practically bit his tongue in his mouth.

Tokiya's brow arched upwards just slightly in response, "Is there something you want to say?"

"I hardly think you would appreciate me asking." Reiji laughed at himself weakly.

"Well, you may as well ask it now."

"Why do you do that?" Reiji's brow drew together in a moment of concern.

"Why do I do what, exactly?" There seemed to be a small spark of sudden vulnerability that lit up somewhere in his dark blue eyes.

"Sometimes well, you just follow my orders so strictly. I don't mean to boss you around or anything. You're my kouhai, not my servant. There's no reason to take me so literally." Reiji innocently placed a hand on his kouhai's knee, giving a gentle squeeze.

Tokiya's gaze flickered between the hand on his knee and the other's face, "I know. Old habits die hard I guess." Now it was Tokiya's turn to softly laugh self-deprecatingly at himself.

"Tokiya." There was that affirmative, yet soft tone once more. Why did he care so much? "You can tell me."

"You wouldn't understand." Tokiya shook his head, sinking further into himself. He wished he could disappear.

Reiji paused for a moment, feeling a surge of emotions suddenly swell up within his chest. "I fell apart, but got back up again. I know what it feels like, to push the pain within yourself and pretend it doesn't exist."

Tokiya raised his head, frankly quite surprised by the earnest words from his senpai. "Music was my escape. Whenever I felt alone, sad, dejected, I would turn on the music and let it take me away."

"I know what you mean. I have had my share of mistakes. Probably more than a lifetime's worth of bad choices." Reiji patted the other's knee once more before he let his gaze turn to look out the car window. "I don't want to make stupid mistakes anymore. I want to be a truthful man that people can love and respect. I don't think I've ever been that kind of person."

"Don't say that. I respect you. I really, really, do." Tokiya's expression hardened into one of honest determination.

The look on the other's face made Reiji smile softly. Tokiya was so beautiful…Did he even understand how beautiful he was?

"But do you love me?"

"W-What…" Tokiya's expression cracked, a flustered blush threatening to stain his cheeks.

Reiji could only laugh at the reaction he got from his kouhai. The car came to a stop, and he merely tugged on the other's arm, encouraging him to get out of the car. They were close to the pier, which was home to a rather large Ferris wheel. Tokiya followed along blindly, still a bit stunned from the other's bold question. Reiji eagerly led him out to the edge of the pier, where they could see the Ferris wheel from across the water. Its lights reflected off the water's surface, dancing and shimmering under the late moonlight.

"I used to come here with him, quite often. We would spend the hours just talking. About everything and anything that came to mind. He was my best friend. And I lost him to my own selfishness, my own stupidity." Reiji glanced out at the water with a firm set to his silver eyes.

Tokiya didn't ask how he lost him. He didn't need to. The blue haired boy's eyes down cast to the water, letting his hand blindly search out for his senpai's. Their fingertips brushed one another's, causing Reiji to break his distant stare and bring his attention back to the beautiful young man at his side. A pained smile tugged at the edges of his lips as he gently locked his fingers with the other.

"You're sweet, Tokki." He used his free hand to gently ruffle the other's navy blue hair.

Tokiya scrunched up his nose in response, a peachy blush spreading across his cheeks that was almost hidden in the dark veil of night. "Don't touch my hair."

"Okay…" Reiji's hand moved from the other's hair down the side of his smooth, pale cheek. Tokiya's skin seemed to be almost luminescent in the moonlight. His ivory skin was taut against sharp cheekbones and Reiji found himself fascinated with simply touching the structure of his face.

Tokiya's eyes seemed to waver as the older male drew closer, sliding his thumb underneath his chin. He could feel his heart beating so fast, it resonated in his ears. He wanted nothing more than to feel his warmth, feel his lips, and relish in his touch. Without even thinking, he let his eyelids slide shut, his body willing him to lean in closer. He was so close he could feel Reiji's breath tickle the top of his lip. But then, his mind decided to interfere with his heart, as it always seemed to do.

He pushed Reiji back in a fit of nervousness and shock, "Please, don't."

For a moment, he thought he could see something shatter within Reiji's storm cloud grey eyes as he looked back at him for a long moment. "I'm sorry."

Tokiya's hands were trembling as he withdrew them from where they were planted against Reiji's chest. Before he had a chance to say another word, the sky rumbled with thunder, and lighting soon followed.

"It's going to rain. I'll take you home." Reiji began to walk back the way they came, leaving Tokiya no option but to trail behind him.

When they walked back to where the car was supposed to await the both of them, it was gone. Reiji dug around in his pockets for his phone, only to find that it was gone.

"Shit." He swore under his breath as rain began to pour down on the both of them.

Tokiya too, had left his phone in the car, assuming that it would've still been waiting for them by the time they got back. "We can walk back to my place. It isn't too far from here. Then I can take you home. Come on, let's hurry." Tokiya gestured for his senpai to follow as he began to lead the way.

They walked in stride with one another, but neither spoke a word. The rain soon soaked through the both of them, leaving Tokiya's slender form practically shaking as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying not to show how cold he was. Reiji thought of offering his coat, but he knew he shouldn't overstep his boundaries again.

When they got to Tokiya's apartment, they both shed their coats and shoes in the entryway. Tokiya ran to the thermostat, turning it up so that they could both warm up as quickly as possible. He was planning on taking Reiji straight home, but perhaps it would be best to let him get a change of clothes and warm up before then.

"I'll get you a towel and a fresh change of clothes." Tokiya spoke all while avoiding eye contact as he padded off towards his room.

Reiji was left cold and dripping in the entryway until Tokiya returned with a warm towel. "Thank you." Reiji sighed out in relief as he began to pat his hair dry.

"You can shower here, if you want." Tokiya spoke as he was drying his own hair off.

"I shouldn't." Reiji shakes his head, "I've already overstayed my welcome."

Tokiya couldn't look him in the eyes, he simply nodded. "Well, I've left you a change of clothes in my room. If you don't mind, I will take a quick shower before driving you home."

"No problem." Reiji let the towel fall around his shoulders as he cast a glance in the younger male's direction only to receive a cold shoulder once more as Tokiya turned his back and walked off to go take his shower.

Only once Tokiya had locked himself in the bathroom did Reiji enter into his house. Tokiya's house was rather stale, everything seemed to have its place and it didn't look as if it had been moved from its place for quite a long time. There were books and music on the shelves and a dining table for one that looked as if it was never used. He made his way into the bedroom, which was just as orderly as the rest of the house. The sheets were tucked on the bed and the pillows were pushed onto one side, only allowing for one person to sleep on the rather large bed.

Reiji walked over to the nightstand at the side of the bed, picking up a photo frame to get a better look at the picture inside. It showed a young Tokiya at the side of a woman he could only assume was his mother. It looked like the photo had had scissors taken to it at one point in time, cutting out a third individual from the image. Reiji couldn't help but frown to himself as he set the frame back down on the nightstand. Just as Tokiya said, there were clothes laid out on the bed for him. Reiji changed into Tokiya's clothes as quickly as he could manage, placing his wet ones on the dresser for now. Tokiya's clothes, while a bit snug on him around the waist, seemed to be a bit longer in the torso and the arms then he needed. He lifted the oversized sleeve to his face and gave an experimental sniff. It smelt of heather and rain. It smelt of his kouhai. He closed his eyes, heaving a sigh. His heart felt like a weight that was dragging down into the pit of his stomach. He wasn't supposed to get this attached to him. He was supposed to be using the boy for information, and nothing else. How had he become so entranced with him? Deep down inside he knew the reason, but he refused to admit it to himself.

He laid down on Tokiya's bed, caring little if the other were to catch him in this position. He buried himself under one of the blankets, finding solace while being enveloped in the other's scent. Tokiya seemed not to notice him as he entered the room, searching the closet for clothes while wrapped only in his towel. Reiji popped his head up from under the blankets, opening his mouth to say something, but instead he found himself rendered speechless. If he thought the contour of Tokiya's face was beautiful, then the contour of his body was stunning. He could only see his bare back, which was curved just so as the other raised up onto his tippy-toes to reach a shirt on the top shelf of his closet.

Reiji had had many a sexual conquest, but for some reason this didn't make him feel the same way as he usually did. He didn't feel like throwing Tokiya down onto a bed and taking his innocence in a crude manner. He felt like savoring the taste of his pale skin, marking it with purplish bruises until the younger male would be crying for release. He wanted to touch him, and be touched in return. He wanted something that would last, something that would ultimately be tender and loving.

Tokiya's breath stilled as he felt arms encircle him from behind. His initial instinct was to jump and pull away, but then he felt a soothing kiss being placed to the back of his neck, as if to say that the touch was once of innocence.

"Kotobuki-senpai.. What are you doing?" His voice already contained just a hint of breathiness. Tokiya had never been this close to someone. Especially with someone he wasn't supposed to be close with.

"Shh, don't ask questions." Smooth hands were now trailing up the front of Tokiya's chest, tracing the curvature of his lithe muscles hidden under milky white skin.

"I-I, please stop.." Tokiya's cheeks were already burning, and he was attempting to peel the other's hands off of him. "This is inappropriate on so many different levels."

"Inappropriate yes, but good nonetheless, right?" Reiji's voice seemed to lose its usual lighthearted touch and had dropped in tone as he murmured against the blue-haired male's ear.

"You're my senpai. And you're a man." Tokiya managed to pull the other's arms off of him, turning around to face him with wide blue eyes.

"What does any of that have to do with it? As long as it feels right, nothing else really matters. Silly kouhai.." He trails off with a small, affectionate smile, reaching back out for the younger male. "Are you scared?"

"N-No, I'm not scared…" Tokiya could feel his whole body flood with warmth and his chest became tight with a tingly sensation that he could not describe.

"Don't be scared. I won't hurt you. I promise." Reiji's nose brushed against the crux of Tokiya's neck, followed by a brush of smooth lips.

Tokiya's breath hitched. He never knew that being kissed there would feel so pleasurable. He didn't want to admit that he had never been intimate with someone, but he figured that the older male could tell from the way he was acting. Regardless of whether or not it was his first time, Tokiya was not the type to jump straight to sex. Yet, he found it hard to resist. His will was melting away with every exploring touch and kiss that Reiji administered.

Reiji kept it gentle and fairly innocent for a minute or two, not wishing to scare his kouhai away. He could feel the skin under his lips gradually warming up. He wondered how much longer he would continue to pretend that he didn't feel it too.

He lifted his head from the other's neck, locking eyes with him as he spoke for the first time since he had started the teasing kisses, "I want to kiss you. No. I want _all_ __of you."

If Tokiya could've turned anymore red in the face, he surely would have. He didn't say no but he didn't say yes either. His brain seemed to have temporarily shut down. Reiji's fingertips lifted the blue-eyed male's chin, pulling him to his lips in one swift movement.

At first, Tokiya didn't know what to do and his lips were still against Reiji's. All he could hear was his own heart, pounding in his ear. Although his own lips weren't moving, it didn't seem to bother his senpai who was content with tracing the other's lips with his tongue, encouraging him to relax. After a long moment Tokiya felt his lips act on their own accord, moving along with Reiji's as their kiss gradually deepened. He lifted a pale hand and twisted into the other's shirt, trying hard not to lose his balance as his head begun to spin from the overwhelming feelings that were flooding through his mind and body.

When they both parted for air, Tokiya tried to inject his thoughts, "Kotobuki-senpai. I think we should stop for now. We both—"

Reiji had already made up his mind apparently because he cut Tokiya off with another kiss, one that demanded a bit more than the first. He pushed his way past the seam of the younger male's lips, exploring the inside of his mouth eagerly. The action elicited a moan from the quickly deteriorating Tokiya who was now fairly limp up against the wall.

The moan made its way straight to Reiji's groin, putting a fracture in the older male's patience as he tugged Tokiya to the bed, tossing him down onto it. Tokiya looked up at him with wide, glossy eyes, trying desperately to fix the towel around his waist that had barely survived the fall. Not that it left much to the imagination, it was obvious that Tokiya was enjoying the attention on at least a subconscious level.

Reiji straddled him, all the while Tokiya continued to gaze up at him with large eyes. "Is this okay?" Reiji surely didn't want to do anything that was unwarranted.

"Kotobuki-senpai, I…" Tokiya hid his blush with the back of his hand, avoiding the other's gaze as he stared downwards. "It's…it's okay."

"Damn." Reiji growled the word with a good amount of fervor, "That blush is adorable Tokki. Don't hide it."

Tokiya shook his head stubbornly, leaving his hands over his face, "It's embarrassing. Please don't say things like that."

"I can't help it. You're cute. Gorgeous. Handsome." Reiji's impatient lips began to wander once more, this time across the other's exposed chest as he spoke. "I've always thought that about you. I wanted to get close to you, all this time." Reiji wasn't even sure what he was saying was the truth and what was lies anymore. His mind had become too clouded with lust to distinguish the difference.

Reiji's lips brushed across his kouhai's perk, cherry blossom pink nipple before taking it between his lips. Tokiya couldn't hold his voice back as he gasped out, his high-pitched tone reverberating quite nicely off of the walls. The brunette focused all his efforts on sucking the other's nipple, eliciting more moans from the man below him as he switched between both of them, continuing on until he was certain that he had his kouhai beyond hot and bothered.

His mouth began to move south, leaving wet open-mouthed kisses in his wake as he left Tokiya writhing beneath him helplessly. When he found that his path to what he wanted was blocked by the fluffy white towel encircling Tokiya's waist, he didn't hesitate to pull it aside. Tokiya tried to curl in on himself as he became completely exposed before his senpai. Reiji reassured him with delicate kisses to his hipbone.

"No need to be self-conscious Tokki. Every inch of you is so pretty. Let me see more of you…" The older male's grey eyes glanced upwards and met Tokiya's. Tokiya felt slightly calmed by the sight. He managed to uncurl his legs, opening them up and leaving them there, limp on the bed.

Those silver eyes that had been holding Tokiya's soon broke free and instead were scanning the sight beneath him. He made a small sound under his breath, something akin to a groan, as he drank in the sight. Tokiya was even more flawless than he could've imagined. He was certainly the most delicate and beautiful lover he had ever had, even all the women he had taken to bed weren't this beautiful.

Reiji lowered his head between Tokiya's legs, causing the blue-haired male to squeak out in surprise, his hands automatically reaching up to tangle themselves in his brown hair. Reiji placed a few kisses along the base of Tokiya's blushing erection, smiling to himself as he thought about bringing his kouhai to completion in no time. His kisses gradually neared towards the tip of his cock, causing Tokiya to melt away into the bed below him, bringing one of his arms up to his face and flinging it across his eyes as he tried his best to stay quiet.

Reiji decided to bring just the tip past his lips, humming softly as he tightened his lips around the other's burning length. The male below him was quickly losing the willpower to hold back his pleasured moans, his hand tugging on the other's hair tightly.

"K-Kotobuki-senpai…I-I..Please..." Tokiya found himself unable to finish the sentence before the other's warm mouth lowered itself completely down onto him. Tokiya cried out softly, reaching completion without any warning, his thighs trembling slightly as they tightened around Reiji's head.

Although Tokiya's premature orgasm wasn't completely unexpected, it still took Reiji a moment to gather himself, swallowing what he could before popping his lips off of the other. He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring Tokiya's bittersweet taste before he leaned back down and kissed him again, hoping to give his kouhai a taste of himself. Tokiya initially shied away from the seemingly disgusting kiss, but gradually warmed up to it and found that the taste of himself on the other's lips wasn't as bad as he had anticipated it would be.

When they broke the kiss, Tokiya went right back into nervous-mess mode, quickly trying to justify his early orgasm, "I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Shh, shh.." Reiji placed a finger over his kouhai's plush and slightly swollen lips. "Nothing to apologize for. I liked it." A devilish smirk swept across his lips, leaving Tokiya at a loss for words once more.

"Okay…" Tokiya mumbled, avoiding eye contact once more. "We really should stop there. At least for tonight."

"Is that really what you want?" That smirk was still evident on Reiji's lips, reading his junior like an open book.

"Yes. We shouldn't go any futher." Tokiya gathered his courage and looked back up at his senpai with the sternest gaze he could manage.

"Is this your first time?" Reiji's voice was neither condescending nor judgmental, rather it was understanding and gentle.

"That's none of your business." He turned his blue eyes off to the side with a small huff, but a moment later he deflated, adding onto his reply with a small voice. "Yes…"

Reiji leaned down, kissing the shell of Tokiya's ear before speaking against it, "You don't have to be afraid. I'm your senpai. Let me teach you." He could feel the other's grin against his ear and it made his chest tight.

Tokiya merely responded by placing a shaky hand in the other's hair, "Senpai…"

"Call me Reiji if you would, especially in this situation." He knew that Tokiya likely wouldn't comply with his request so he quickly followed up with an inquiry, "Do you have any type of lubricant?"

"No." The nervous blue-eyed boy played with his senpai's hair absentmindedly. "I don't."

"No lotions? Oils?" He smiled softly as he felt that playful touch to his hair.

"Well, there is some massage oil in the nightstand."

"That will do. I'll get it, just stay here and stay relaxed." Reiji's lips placed a small kiss onto Tokiya's before he pulled away, leaving his junior naked and flushed on the bed.

Tokiya could do little else but fidget and watch his senior locate the oil. Before Reiji decided to get back into bed, he thought he ought to take his clothes off first. Initially, it was too much for Tokiya to watch and he turned his head away, causing Reiji to chuckle. After a moment, curiosity and young lust got the best of him and he turned his gaze back towards the now nearly naked Reiji. His frame was toned, but the muscles in his chest weren't too over-pronounced. When he dropped his pants it was a completely different situation however. Tokiya felt his cheeks burn again, but he found it hard to peel his eyes away.

Reiji laughed again, clearly not uncomfortable with being naked. "I think for your first time it's most comfortable to be lying on your back as you are now. Make sure to take notes on this Tokki." He teased as he returned to straddling the younger male.

He gently urged his kouhai to lift his legs up as he nudged a pillow underneath his hips. "Tokki, rest your legs here." He placed one of Tokiya's legs up on his shoulder, kissing the side of his calf as he did so.

Tokiya felt like he were about to start on fire. His body was so hot. His legs were open, leaving him in this terribly vulnerable position and he wished he could curl into himself and die. He peeked through the space between his parted legs, watching as Reiji used the oil to coat his fingers with a slick layer of the substance.

"W-What are you going to do?" Tokiya tried not to let his fear and inexperience show in the way he asked the question, but he honestly couldn't hide how nervous he felt.

"It'll be very uncomfortable for you if I don't do this." He trailed his slick fingers down the crest of the other's ass, gently prodding his entrance with his middle finger. "Just relax for me."

Tokiya was anything but relaxed and he was about to object when he felt the other's finger begin to push its way within him. He gasped out again, immediately tightening around the intruding finger.

"It's okay, it's okay…Breathe." Reiji murmured calmly, placing kisses to the inside of his kouhai's thigh as his free hand began to stroke the other's limp cock back to life.

The kisses and the attention to his length helped to distract his mind from the initial discomfort. He did as the other instructed and took deep breaths, gradually growing accustomed to the sensation. Reiji began to twist his finger about within the other, pumping it in and out a little bit, trying to show him how nice this kind of stimulation could be.

It still felt a bit strange to Tokiya, but there was something about it that he found himself enjoying. That was, until he felt a second finger breach him.

"Nn…" He groaned out quietly, glancing down at Reiji who was still very focused on being careful with his fingers, and with pleasuring his length.

"One more Tokiya. I know your body can take it, it feels much more willing now compared to when we started." Reiji continued to pump his fingers in and out of his junior, glancing down at him with stormy grey eyes that seemed to be barely on the brink of losing restraint.

"One more?" Tokiya was certain that his body could not handle that many, he grabbed onto the other's arm. "I-I can't."

"You can. Trust me. I'll be gentle. Close your eyes and keep breathing. I'll pleasure you, I promise." Reiji's lips found Tokiya's and he could do nothing but succumb once more.

Tokiya's groaning was muffled against Reiji's lips as he felt another finger ease in alongside the others. They felt less and less pleasurable and more and more uncomfortable as they moved around in him. That is, until they struck a certain spot within him.

"A-Ah!" Tokiya's hands curled in the sheets as his spine arched off of the bed.

"Oh, looks like I found it!" Reiji sounded proud of himself as he chuckled, watching the other's reaction with hooded eyes.

"W-What was that?" Tokiya questioned in a breathy tone, the touch still had him tingling.

"Your sweet spot. It's what makes sex between two men enjoyable. Fascinating isn't it? Should we have a quiz at the end?" Reiji laughed, taking his fingers out slowly.

Tokiya managed to glare up at him, "You can take your quiz and shove it up—"

"Aw, Tokki, don't talk to your senior like that. Very inappropriate. Don't make me punish you." His voice tapered off at the end in a low tone, giving himself a few strokes to his rather neglected cock. "How are you feeling? Are you ready?"

"I'm feeling okay." Tokiya eyed the other's length as Reiji covered it in the same oil he had used on his fingers. He was certain that despite the fingers, he was going to feel discomfort.

"Just okay? Come on now, cut me some slack." Reiji's tone was playful for a second before the lightheartedness melted back into lust. "I'll have you crying out in no time my precious kouhai."

The heat returned to Tokiya's face in no time, sky blue eyes met steel grey as he nodded once, "I'm ready now."

"I'm ready too. Stay relaxed for me Tokiya." He ran his free hand up and down his lover's thigh as he carefully aligned himself with the other's entrance, already feeling overwhelmed by his heat as he gradually began to add pressure.

"H-ah…" Tokiya struggled to breathe as he felt himself being stretched out from the inside out. He wrapped both his arms up around Reiji's neck, using him as an anchor.

"Tokiya…" Reiji gently moaned out his name as he managed to bottom out within him despite how tight Tokiya still seemed to be. "Are you okay?"

Tokiya's eyes were squeezed shut but he gave a nod anyways. He couldn't really tell what was painful and what was just overwhelming stimulation at this point. His heart was pounding furiously within his chest.

"There, there, my precious kouhai." Reiji scattered kisses across his lover's face, giving his erection some much needed attention from his hand. "You're doing so well. I won't move until you're ready."

Tokiya's poor heart ached, maybe not from the pounding, but from the other's kind words. Never in his life had he experienced someone, romantically or not, that had treated him with such kindness. Reiji was practically worshipping his body with kisses, and he had been patient whereas many men probably wouldn't have been. His senpai truly was amazing.

Tokiya's dewy blue eyes opened up and glanced up at the beautiful man above him, "It…feels good. I…want more."

Reiji could do nothing but grin, "Stop looking at me like that with those cute eyes. You could make a man lose his mind you know." He clicked his tongue teasingly and it seemed like he was not going to move.

Tokiya was about to say something before he felt the movement deep inside of him. Slow and steady at first, then all too quickly the pace and force increased. He could little besides cling to his senpai's shoulders, his melodic moans no longer being held back as they filled the room.

"Tokiya, say my name…" Reiji panted out, pumping Tokiya's length in time with his hips as he plunged deeper within him, in search of his sweet spot once more.

"I-I..can't..!" Tokiya gawked up at his senpai, speechless and breathless as his shaking hands buried themselves into the other's chestnut hair.

Reiji didn't reply, seemingly too engrossed in the pleasure to put much more thought forth into the subject. His hips faltered in their rhythm as he only began to seek indulging further in his kouhai.

The bed rocked under their frantic movement, and Tokiya was pushed back against the mattress with more force than he had before, but luckily it was just the right angle. Tokiya was seeing stars as he cried out in a raspy tone, "S-Senpai..! There…Right there."

"Right here?" Reiji asked smugly, hitting the other's prostate once more. "I can't hear you. Maybe if you used my name—"

"Reiji! Please!" Tokiya unabashedly cried out, clawing at the other's back.

The way Tokiya cried out for Reiji about did him in. He was only able to make a few final sporadic thrusts before he released inside him with a grunt of his lover's name. "Ah, Tokiya.."

As Tokiya felt the warmth flood the deepest parts of him, he moaned out weakly, climaxing as Reiji was riding out his own orgasm, his whole body going rigid and tight before he slowly relaxed again.

Before Tokiya even had a chance to take his first full breath, Reiji's lips were on his own. He kissed him back rather sloppily, his hand massaging the back of his senpai's neck as they panted against one another's lips.

Reiji lay his weight down on top of Tokiya for he was too tired to hold it up any longer and they were quiet as they let both of their frantic heartbeats calm down from the high.

Reiji was the first to try to speak, even though he was still short of breath, "T-Tokiya, that was ama—"

Tokiya cut him off in a small but firm voice, "I think I love you."

Reiji felt his heart sink in his stomach. Despite the feelings he felt, despite the beautiful man beneath him that was sweaty, undone, and beautiful; he couldn't say that he loved him. Or at least, that's what he convinced himself.

He swallowed thickly, and lied. "I know how you feel."

The silence continued to stretch on after that. Reiji eventually pulled himself off of his lover, easing himself out of his kouhai carefully so as not to hurt him. Tokiya let out a little wince regardless. He was still rather tender.

"Sorry." Reiji murmured, laying back down at Tokiya's side. He lifted a hand to the other's hair and began to absentmindedly play with his midnight blue locks.

"It's okay. I'm just tired mostly." Tokiya turned over on his side, his sleepy blue eyes scanning the other's face.

"Yeah. Me too. Get some rest. Tomorrow is the big day, remember? You get to debut that new song of yours." Reiji smiled faintly as he leaned forward and gave the other's pale lips a kiss.

"I know. We ought to sleep." Tokiya returned the kiss before closing his eyes, curling in just a little bit closer to his senpai. "Goodnight, Reiji."

Reiji looked as if he could cry. He felt horrible about what he was about to do. "Goodnight Tokiya. Sleep well."

Reiji briefly considered making a run for it. Tokiya seemed to be in quite a deep sleep. He doubted that he would awake if he tried to make a run for it. He couldn't remember the last time that he had shared a bed with someone that he had slept with. He simply just didn't do those kinds of things. Sex was materialistic to him and he was desperately trying to sell himself on the idea that this was the just any old one night stand. However, he knew that if he left Tokiya would likely be mad at him come tomorrow morning, and that just wouldn't do. He needed to keep his trust, at least until tomorrow.

With that, he convinced himself to relax next to Tokiya's warm and supple form. Tokiya pulled his head to Reiji's chest in his sleep, making possibly the most innocent expression as he did so. Reiji could only sigh longingly at such an endearing face as he pulled his kouhai closer. At least for tonight, he could give into his seemingly nonexistent heart. He didn't allow himself much, but he would allow himself this much.

They both slept until Tokiya's alarm began to blast at around seven the next morning. Tokiya was quick to hit the snooze on his phone and curl back up at Reiji's side. Reiji welcomed the touch, before his mind caught up to his body.

"Tokki, we have to get up." His voice was still thick with sleep as he spoke.

"I don't want to." Tokiya hides his face stubbornly against the other's chest. How quickly Reiji had obtained his full and utter disclosure.

"Oh come on now. You know you have to." Reiji leaned down and gave the top of Tokiya's head a little kiss. "I'm leaving the bed now."

"You're evil." Tokiya growled under his breath, and although it was it was playful, it still made Reiji fear the reality that Tokiya would likely feel that way soon enough.

"Not evil. Just practical. Now give me a kiss good morning…and goodbye. I have to go back to my own place before for the show." Tokiya's expression seemed to falter a bit but Reiji leaned in for a kiss before he could reply.

"Thank you, for last night. It was something I won't ever forget." Reiji smiled at him as he pulled back from the kiss. Something about the way he spoke put a knot in Tokiya's stomach.

"Thank you too, for being so patient with me."

"No need to thank me. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did." Reiji sat up from the bed and began to pull his clothes on that were still at the foot of the bed.

"I did." Tokiya watched him from the bed where he still remained wrapped up in the sheets. "I want to see you again."

"Well of course you'll see me again. We'll see each other at the concert tonight!" Reiji finished pulling on his shirt as he smiled over at Tokiya.

"I know that. I mean…" Tokiya trailed off with a wary look on his face. "See you tonight then."

"Of course my precious kouhai. Take care." Reiji blew a kiss in his direction, along with a wink.

Tokiya remained as he was in bed for some time after his senpai left. It took him awhile to process his own feelings about the situation. Tokiya was not usually the first to confess, not usually the one to pull closer, not usually the one to want more kisses. Yet he wanted it all and he wanted even more than that. He couldn't shake the feeling that Reiji, on the other hand, maybe didn't want those things as much as he did. He chalked it up to the nerves that he was still feeling over last night. A lot had happened in the past 12 hours, and their relationship had drastically changed. It just needed time, he told himself as he began to get ready for the day. Surely Reiji felt the same way that he did.

They didn't cross paths again until a few hours before the concert. Tokiya was on his way to take a water break after rehearsing his song when he came across his senpai. Reiji had stopped Tokiya in the hallway as they came across one another in passing.

"Did you hear that they changed the schedule, Tokki?"

"Hm? No I haven't heard." Tokiya tilted his head to the side as he waited to hear more.

"Apparently I am performing right before you now. Isn't that weird?"

"Yes, I suppose so. Although it really doesn't matter much, does it?"

"No, not particularly. Are you nervous?" Reiji offered up a small smile in the direction of his kouhai.

"No." Tokiya was quick to reply with a single firm nod.

Reiji merely laughed at the response, "I know you are. It can be scary to perform a song that is so vulnerable." Reiji reach forward and cupped the other's cheek, his voice dropping to a serious tone as he locked eyes with his junior. "Just remember what I taught you. Please never forget."

Tokiya's brows furrowed slightly as blue eyes met silver, "Of course. I won't ever forget."

Reiji's usual happy-go-lucky smile was quickly plastered back onto his face as he leaned forward and pecked Tokiya's lips. "Good. That's all I wanted to hear."

Reiji pulled back and began to walk back the way he came before he abruptly turned on his feet, his expression troubled once more as it looked as if he may be having some type of battle within himself. "Tokiya?"

"Yes." Innocent blue eyes widened expectantly as he looked back towards his senpai.

"I love you too." The word's spilled from Reiji's lips in a rush before he turned on heels and disappeared around the corner.

Tokiya was left in the hallway alone and confused, his blue eyes still focused off somewhere in the distance. He didn't allow himself to get too caught up in processing the whole situation. He decided it would have to wait until after they had finished up with the concert. If anything, he was feeling quite hopeful that there could be a budding relationship between them. This could be something good for him. Something that he needed.

As Reiji had told him earlier, they had in fact changed the schedule. Tokiya was to wait off-stage and go on almost immediately after Reiji. They had him wait on one of the wings of the stage, where he could get a fairly clear view of the stage and the audience. Another one of Reiji's band member's, Camus, was currently on stage singing a new solo song. The audience seemed fairly engaged, but it was nowhere near the kind of reactions that Starish could elicit from the crowd. Straight across the stage, waiting in the other wing, was Reiji. The brown-haired idol waved from across the stage at Tokiya. Tokiya couldn't help but feel a warmth build up in his chest as he waved back at him with a smile.

When Camus' song ended and he came off the stage once more, he seemed to shoot some sort of cruel smirk in Tokiya's direction. Tokiya was once again caught off guard by this reaction, but Camus was known to be cruel. He simply brushed it off, turning back to look at Reiji one more time before he went on stage. Reiji seemed to be mouthing something at him. Tokiya squinted over at him, trying to figure out what he was saying. He thought he saw him say, 'I'm sorry', but he knew that couldn't be right.

Reiji stepped on stage and the crowd went wild. All Tokiya could see was the flashing lights and all he could hear were the screams of the audience. He thought that he was hallucinating when he began to hear the melody of the song he had written blast through the amphitheater. Tokiya continued to stare off into the crowd of moving bodies and glow stick lights that danced in time with the melody. His melody. His song. The one he had slaved over. The one he had cried over. The one Reiji had helped him tirelessly on.

To his absolute horror, Reiji's voice began to sing the words that Tokiya had written, all with a smile on his face. Only Tokiya knew how truly empty that smile, and that man, were. White hot rage swelled through Tokiya and he felt like he could rush on stage and tackle Reiji to the ground while he was in the middle of singing _his_ song. Before he could act impulsively he thought it through. He thought of the headlines, the bad publicity, and the image he would create for himself. He knew he couldn't do it.

The audience seemed to accept the song much better than they had accepted Camus'. The cheers were doubled as they encouraged Reiji through the entire song. Reiji kept his attention focused on them the entire time and never once looked back at Tokiya. The song came to an end and Reiji took a deep bow as the crowd continued the elongated cheering. After that, he exited the stage.

Tokiya's manager nudged him from behind, and only then did Tokiya realize that he had been standing in place, frozen. "Come on, you're up!"

Tokiya took his microphone and stumbled on stage, at an absolute loss of what to do now. The crowd cheered just as loud for him as they did for Reiji. Tokiya stared out into the endless crowd for what felt like an eternity. Even when the crowd stopped cheering, Tokiya was still staring blankly out into the sea of faces. It was now that a memory of his father was returning to him.

" _You'll never make anything of yourself with an attitude like that. How could I support someone with no backbone like you?" His dad scoffed at a small Tokiya who had just finished a song on the piano._

" _What do you mean? Music doesn't have to have a backbone, it's just music." The small boy's eyes had begun to flood with tears, but he hid it to the best of his ability._

" _Some people can make it in music, sure. But you're not one of those people. You're just too weak, Tokiya. You have no idea what it takes to do those kinds of things. Why don't you give up this superfluous dream? Go into business like your dad. Make me proud."_

" _I want to make you proud doing music." The small Tokiya curled his fists up in determination._

" _God dammit kid, what did I tell you. Stop this shit." His dad's small fishing town accent was definitely beginning to come through as he slammed his fist down on the top of the old piano, causing the small Tokiya to jump in fright._

" _I don't want to stop, dad, please. I'll do better. I promise." Tokiya lifted his little fingers back up to the keys._

" _Don't forget that your potential has limits. Don't try and be something you're not."_

 _Tokiya stubbornly began to press at the keys again, only to have his hands smacked off of the piano with a force that shook him. "Stop! You'll never be good enough, so just stop."_

'I'll never be good enough', was the only thing that his mind seemed to focus on as the amphitheater went quiet. Eventually whispers began to follow as the blue-haired idol continued to stand on stage in absolute silence.

He lifted the microphone to lips and with shaky hands began to sing whatever song came to mind. The crowd seemed disappointed to hear an old song when they had been promised a new one. Even though it was a song that Tokiya had sung hundreds of times, his voice cracked and he found himself losing the rhythm of the song. It was only then that he realized that tears had pooled in his sapphire eyes. He voiced wavered off in the middle of the song as the tears broke free and slid down his cheeks. He bolted off of the stage as quickly as he could, pushing past his manager and the small army of people who tried to stop and question him about what had just happened on stage.

Tokiya eventually made it to his dressing room, quickly locking the door before throwing himself down on the small couch. His body shook like a cold bare tree as he cried in solitude. If there was one thing he wouldn't allow them to see, it would be his tears. It wasn't long before he heard a knock on the door.

"Go away." Tokiya called out at the door, and whoever was behind it.

"Tokiya…" Reiji's quiet voice resounded through the door.

"Go away!" He repeated himself, this time with more fervor.

"Listen, I want to explain myself. Please…" Reiji pressed his head up against the door with a heavy sigh. "I'm begging you to hear me out."

A long moment of silence passed before Tokiya lifted himself up from the couch, wiping at his tear-stained cheeks aggressively before opening the door. His bloodshot eyes immediately narrowed at the other's figure in the doorway. "Come on, hurry."

Reiji hurried his way inside of Tokiya's dressing room, closing and locking the door behind him before turning to face the man he had just stabbed in the back. "Tokiya, listen… In the world of business—"

"You don't think I know what this industry is about? You want to give me a lesson on why it's so cut-throat? Huh? Is that it? Do you want to one-up me and take the rug out from under my feet?" Tokiya practically burned holes through the other with the ferocity of his gaze. "Unlike you, I wasn't a child star born into a nice family in a big city. If anyone knows what it takes to make it, it's me."

Reiji remained annoyingly passive, avoiding eye contact when he could. "I know you have what it takes. That's why I did what I did. You'll survive from this. But Quartet Night, well, we needed a hit that only a Starish member could produce."

"You thief. You liar. That was _my_ song. You know how much that song meant to me." Tokiya seemed to falter in his anger as he returned to his spot on the couch.

"You can make another one. Tokiya please…"

"Don't plead with me. Our whole relationship was a lie. You only wanted to use me…" His chest grew tight as he fought desperately to keep his tears at bay.

Reiji dared to come closer, sitting on the other end of the couch as he continued to try and reason with his kouhai. "That's why I started this relationship…I'll be honest, but, somewhere along the way… it changed. I changed."

"If you truly cared about me at all, you wouldn't have done this to me. How could you..?" The tears that Tokiya fought so hard to keep away began to trail down his cheeks much to his own embarrassment.

Reiji reached forward to try and comfort him some, only to have Tokiya slap his hand away. "Don't touch me."

Despite the sting of the other's slap, Reiji reached out for him again. This time Tokiya pushed and pounded upon the other's chest, "Don't touch me! I don't want to look at you!"

Reiji managed to secure a hold on the blue-haired male regardless and after a few minutes of hitting Tokiya's arms succumbed to the weakness of his exhausted body and he resisted no more. He cried until his eyes went dry, disgusted with himself for remaining in Reiji's arms.

Sometime later Reiji spoke quietly, "I know it hurts. But I know you can take the pain. If anyone can bounce back from this, it's you."

"What am I? Your punching bag, too?" Tokiya leaned back in his arms, blinking up at the other with empty blue orbs.

"I didn't want to hurt you but his is how it had to be. I'm here now. I'll hold you all night if that's what you want." He ran his hand through the other's messed hair. "It wouldn't be love if it didn't hurt, now would it?"

Tokiya succumbed to his touch, letting his weary eyes flutter closed, "Is this what love is? Glorified pain and self-sacrifice for nothing in return?"

"Trust me, Tokiya, I know what pain is. This is nothing compared to losing someone. I won't let you leave. I won't lose you." Reiji's silver eyes churned darkly with the bitter memories of his past.

"True pain to me is being used up and tossed aside. Don't talk like you know me." Tokiya's hands rested on either side of Reiji's face as he stared sternly into his eyes.

"But I do know you. You see, you're just as broken as I am." Reiji peeled one of Tokiya's hands off of his cheek and kissed his knuckles one by one. Tokiya watched him for a moment before he leaned forward and indulged in a weak kiss, pressing lips and hands to one another's skin for some time before they broke apart.

Tokiya's heavy head came to rest in the other's lap, "I'm a glutton for punishment. I can't give you up, either."

Reiji combed through the other's hair gingerly, gazing down at him with a look in his eyes that could only be described as apathetic. "That's why I love you."


End file.
